My Irritations, Aggravations and Inspirations

Bored Talk: Volume 12 “They can put a man on the moon…”

Bored Talk: Volume 12

Dang It! They can put a man on the moon…

On July20, 1969 at 10:56 pm EDT Neil Armstrong stepped onto the surface of the moon. Mr. Armstrong rode 238,857 miles to the moon on the end of a 363 foot tall, 33 foot diameter, and 6,699,000 pound Saturn V rocket. We had put a man on the moon! Twelve men have walked on the surface of the moon, all of them before 1973.

Throughout history, when man has decided to do something, he has done it -The Pyramids, Great Walls, Aqueducts, Bridges, Skyscrapers, Automobiles, and Airplanes just to name a few. Now we have the Personal Computer and that gives us more computing power at our fingertips than it took to get Neil Armstrong to the moon. We truly live in a technologically advanced world where we can communicate with each other, buy and sell stock, listen to Bach and even watch TV on tiny handheld devices. We can play games on our TVs with people from anywhere in the world. We can see everything that’s happening all over the world and see it in High Definition with THX surround sound. Our cars can unlock themselves if we lock ourselves out and some don’t even use a key – they know us by our voice or fingerprint. Our cars know exactly where we are even if we have no clue. If we get a little hungry and don’t want to cook we can order pizza via Cell Phones, PDAs, Ipods, Laptops, Desktops, Bluetooth, and even from the navigation system of our cars.

Yep, they can put a man on the moon.

But, Dang It!…

They can’t seem to make a closure system for a loaf of bread that works the same way every time you use it – you twist the wire tie to the right…Nope! You twist back to the left…Nope! Now you aren’t sure, but maybe you have twisted the whole thing back on itself, so you start over. This time you grip it tighter and closer to the bag and that seems to work…and one twist back the OTHER way and Bingo! The bag of bread is open. Meanwhile there are three astronauts living in a space station which is orbiting 190 miles above the surface of the earth traveling at over 17,000 miles an hour…and we still use little wires to tie our bread bags shut!

We have smart bombs and cruise missiles that we can launch from hundreds of miles away and stick ‘em right up a terrorist’s ass! And we can watch on our handheld devices a video signal sent from a satellite in outer space to see the look on the terrorist’s grimy face as he realizes something just isn’t right! BOOM! But when we open a jar of Peanut Butter and we try to remove that little sealed, metallic shield, apparently put there to keep out nuclear contamination or Radon or Asbestos or whatever, somehow the edges always stick to the rim of the jar…and you CANNOT remove it, sometimes even after employing the edge of a kitchen knife! So you always have these little pieces of Peanut Butter stained foil/paper bits on your jar! Why do the terrorists even bother…we’ll all die from self inflicted knife wounds from opening jars of Peanut Butter if they’re just patient!

We have mapped the Human Genome. We know how to make a human being out of nothing more than chemicals more or less! It would take 3,300 books with a thousand pages each and a thousand characters on each page to write it all down…that’s a lot of information. We have made exact copies of sheep and other animals and I’m sure they will do it with a human before too much longer. Science is an amazing thing done by some amazing people. Maybe these scientists could figure out how to make that string that is sewn into the top of a bag of dog food or charcoal briquettes, that is somehow supposed to just pull free like a rip cord and open the bag, actually work! Or at least tell us which end to pull. But, again we have to use the kitchen knife to open a paper bag in order to feed our pets or ourselves! Or, how about making that little built-in zip lock that comes on the package of Honey Ham or Smoked Turkey Breast actually unzip the first time we try it so we don’t have to use the ubiquitous kitchen knife which, by the way, almost always cuts the dang package! And how about doing some research on making a Birthday Cake box that can actually be reclosed without using three hands!

The list could go on and on…

Like, Americans eat 90 acres of pizza each day and if I do the math, let’s see…aught and aught is naught plus two and carry my five yada, yada, yada and that comes out to be 32.6 million 16 inch pizzas…EVERY DAY! And you have to figure that at least half of those are carryout or delivery.

Now, science has given us vaccines for some of the deadliest diseases ever known, artificial organs and limbs, internal combustion engines, space travel, nuclear reactor energy etc. and Silly Putty. All this and they can’t invent a pizza box that can fit in a common kitchen size trash can! It is beyond belief that with all the &^*%$# science the world has to offer we don’t have a better pizza box. One that would at least fold to an easily disposable size for the love of Odin! With 16 million being disposed of every day for crying out loud! I mean…

They can put a man on the moon!

Just Say’n

 

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8 responses

  1. You are just too funny! So glad to finally read a new post from you. I’ve put you on my blogroll at Reading Rosie and I’m going to mention your site in my post this week. Have a groovy week and hope to see you soon 🙂

    May 10, 2009 at 3:20 pm

  2. I was just having the bread-tie struggle myself this morning! I just bring the pizza box straight out to the trash barrel. It fits in there. Plus, if there’s no grease on it I recycle the top. Our guys won’t take cardboard w/ grease or food on it.

    May 21, 2009 at 4:23 am

    • tracyisjustsayn

      Thank you Rosie for all the kind things you say and for getting my little blog noticed more. You are just the best.

      Tracy

      May 22, 2009 at 11:07 am

    • tracyisjustsayn

      I have a stack of pizza boxes and no barrel to put them in 😦
      Alas! This Human Condition!

      May 22, 2009 at 11:17 am

  3. LOL! Too funny! I throw the bread tie away as soon as I get it home from the grocery! Then I twist the bread wrapper a couple of times and the fold it back over the bread.

    BTW, your friend Rosie sent me. Hope to read more from you.

    May 21, 2009 at 2:44 pm

    • tracyisjustsayn

      Thank you for reading and I’m thrilled you like it.

      Tracy

      May 22, 2009 at 11:08 am

  4. Mary

    Rosie sent me and I’m GLAD she did! You have a great take on things but you did forget that after about one zillion attempts at twisting the stupid wire the plastic coating (about one nano meter thick, no less) begins to flake off onto your lone slice of bread that is now the texture and consistency of a lead brick because you’ve been wrestling with the twistie-tie for the last 15 minutes, and God knows they can’t make decent bread these days OR package closure thingies lol

    Something else, they can make particle accelerators and view back to the moment before the ‘big bang’… but I am STILL EXPECTED to run two miles to work off the calories in an Oreo?! I don’t think so!

    May 22, 2009 at 3:02 am

    • tracyisjustsayn

      I would love to go back before the moment of my “Big Expansion” and put all those Oreo calories in an accelerator….POOF!

      Tracy

      May 22, 2009 at 11:13 am

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