NaBloPoMo: March 25, 2010 “McWhat…?”
March 25, 2010 “McWhat…?”
Tonight, my hat wanted to ride down the hill to McDonald’s; I don’t know why, I always end up eating everything he orders anyway. He ordered two McChicken Sandwiches off the Dollar Menu. He say’s it’s because he likes them, but the truth is it’s because he is tighter than Dick’s hatband…my hat is a cheap bastard! I like it though…only two bucks to shut him up. So anyway, I get these McChicken sandwiches and, of course, I have to eat them both because, according to the hat, he hasn’t got the stomach for it tonight. As I bite into the first one and taste a spicy flavor with too much, as it were, mayonnaise, I notice that the Mc “Chicken” sandwich is oddly devoid of the taste of….Chicken. I look at the place where the bite came from and it looks as if I did actually get a goodly portion of the “chicken” in the bite, so I try another and the result is the same…the taste of spicy mayonnaise and some lettuce, for texture I guess, but no chicken. This got me to wondering, “What the heck is in this thing? Is there any chicken in it at all? What the hell is a “McChicken”, anyway?” Now, I know that old man McDonald had a farm and I assume that someone is still running the fabled enterprise. I remember him having all sorts of animals on his farm, too… e-i-e-i-o. I know that on his farm he had some chickens…and they clucked and whatnot… e-i-e-i-o. But, now I’m wondering if maybe these McChickens were some kind of mutant hybrid of chickens and cardboard. Or, perhaps, chickens and tofu; after all, nobody knows what that tofu crap is anyway. Does anyone out there know? Can you tell me how to get to old McDonald’s farm? I want to actually see a McChicken. I want to find out what they truly are. And those Chicken McNuggets…I want to see them too; on the inside or the outside? Are they all shaped like little fat boots? Do they come in pairs like most other nuggets do? I want to know! I must know! …McWhat the heck am I eating.