My Irritations, Aggravations and Inspirations

May 14, 2010 “A conversation I might have heard…”

May 14, 2010   “A conversation I might have heard…”

This is a conversation I might have heard tonight if I had been the fourth person in the mini-van in front of me in the drive-thru line at McDonald’s…

D = Driver, P = Passenger, B = Backseat Guy/Gal (dark tinted rear glass. I can tell they’re all close to middle aged)

As the van sits in line behind two other vehicles waiting to order, there is, curiously, not a word spoken about the Giant Backlit Menu with Pictures and Everything that is undoubtedly in clear view of all three of the van’s occupants…

D: Dang, this line is moving slow…
P: Wonder what the hell is the hold up?
B: I’m hungry!
D: Me too, I could eat a horse!
B: Reckon it’ll rain?
P: Nope…it’ll blow over.  God…my foot went to sleep…crap!
B: That sucks don’t it?
D: Mine does that sometime too.
P: It’s my whole damn leg!
D: I need to get some gas.
( as the van moves ahead one spot, it’s now only one car back from the order screen…the Giant Backlit Menu with Pictures and Everything is about 10 feet away from D’s left arm that’s casually hanging out the window and gesturing with it’s hand as he talks to his passengers…)
D: What the hell is the effing problem with these people…?
B: Hey, turn it up! Free Bird….yeeeah! I love me some Skynard!
P: I can’t believe my leg is completely asleep…oh man…this is gonna hurt….oh *%^(&#^& !
D: Stop whining ya big wuss! god, shut up so we can hear…this is a classic (his hand taps the beat on the door of the van as it moves ahead to the order screen…)

WELCOME TO McDONALD’S!
WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY OUR FRAPPE TODAY?
PLEASE ORDER WHEN YOUR READY…
P: Turn it down so we can order….
D: Aaah ok…(the hand is retracted into the van and placed on the steering wheel)
B: What did he say?  What the hell is a Frappay?
P: Shit, I don’t know…I thought he said Fried Tea!  I thought, what the *^%^ is Fried Tea?
D: It’s some kind of damn fancy coffee milkshake or something..
P: My leg is waking up….HOLY SHIT!!!!! man I hate this part…crap!

HI, CAN I TAKE YOUR ORDER?

D: Hey what do you guys want?….CAN YOU GIVE US A SECOND? (the arm, with it’s gesturing hand, swings loosely across the window sill of the door and hangs there by the side of the van)
B: What do they have? Let me see…..
P: Wooooo…thank god! I got this damn leg woke up…shit!  Let me see, uhhh….
D: (as he looks over at the Giant Backlit Menu with Pictures and Everything that has been glaring and glowing there, less than 10 feet away, for the last 3 or 4 minutes!!!!) Uhhhhhh….let me see….

And people wonder why stress and rage are so prevalent in our society…
BECAUSE OF IDIOTIC MORONS IN THE DRIVE-THRU LANES…THAT’S WHY!!!

Just Say’n

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One response

  1. YOu crack me up!!!!!:)

    May 15, 2010 at 4:09 am

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