My Irritations, Aggravations and Inspirations

Funny

August 5, 2011 “fly on the wall”

“fly on the wall”

*

As I was having dinner tonight,

near the table where I sat

I saw an unsettling sight.

On the wall alit a house fly

wearing a cowboy hat.

*

The hat was brown fur felt and quite fine,

but the fly all in all was droll…

for it’s John B. Stetson when you go out to dine.

Any cowboy or fly worth a damn

wouldn’t be caught dead in a Resistol!

©tlh 8/5/11

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October 5, 2010 “what…?”

“what…?”


Do you see it?

Do I see what?

Well, if you don’t…

What if I do?

Or, if you won’t…

I can’t really say.

Oh well, I’ll just leave it that way.

I think I know what you mean.

I don’t want to make a big scene.

Do you think they see it?

Who…those over there?

Yes…just watch them stare.

I don’t know if they do.

Can you see the ones across the way?

I wonder what they have to say.

I’ll try to squeeze my way around to them.

Be careful…it’s crowded in here.

I’ll be back, if I can see my way clear.

Never mind, just stay here with me.

Surely everyone knows…obviously.

Yep…I think it’s safe to assume.

There’s a great big…

ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM!


By the way…did you notice the Emperor’s new clothes?


©tlh 10/5/2010

Listen to this here:


September 29, 2010 “night pains”

For One Shot Wednesday

on a suggestion from my friend, Patti


“night pains”


I rose from my bed

without clearing my head

and went shuffling across the floor

it was dark as could be

but I needed to pee

simply thinking of nothing more


like a drunk on a boat,

my mind was afloat

I swayed back and forth, to and fro

quiet as a thief

I sought my relief

when suddenly…I STUMPED MY DAMNED TOE!

*

©tlh 9/29/2010

(Image courtesy of artist)

Thanks, Red…cute toes 🙂


August 29, 2010 “Interplanetary Consolation”

“Interplanetary Consolation”

I spoke to an old friend today
from time to time we chew the fat
we understand each other
him and me
we talked about beer
we know a good brew
about dead-end jobs
and motorcycles too
about old times
and good times
and sometimes
a time or two
we talked about fishin
and how to hunt deer
about too much wishin
and we talked about beer
we understand beer
beer is good
and beer always leads to women
we don’t understand women
we talked about two
the one to which he belongs
and the other I belong to
he’s belonged for nearly thirty years
I’ve belonged for a few months
he’s gone through troubles and tears
I still get lost over the little bumps

I said…then she said
then we said
I should have stayed in bed
then he said
you both need a knot in your head…

we belong to them
we don’t understand them
we say one thing
they hear something else
we hear them
but we don’t hear what they say
my friend says we’re from Mars
they’re from Venus
I said according to her
I’m from somewhere closer to Uranus
he loves his
and she loves him
I love mine
and she loves…
well, I’m kinda out there for now
next to Uranus…but
beer is good

©tlh  8/29/2010

(Image courtesy of artist)


August 22, 2010 “Have at you!” Sunday 160: Act II

A Sunday 160 on mowing the grass, a task I just completed. I have, in previous posts, given account of my epic battles with my arch enemy, The Green Horde. The following, in 160 spaces, is the latest chapter in that saga…

Have at you!

I humbled the Horde
I felled my foe
tho’ in a fortnight
their number will grow
their strength will regain
as I repeat the refrain
Have at you, Green Devils!

©tlh   8/22/2010


August 5, 2010 “Just for Fun”

“Laughing Buddha”

He stands among my books
with that smile on his face
up there on the shelf
without considering self,
Fat Buddha.

For nigh two score years
he’s been grinning there
his palms to the sun
the enlightened one,
Hotei.

We’ve never spoken, not one word
but through thick and thin
he was there with me
seeking bodhi,
Bodhisattva.

I forget him sometimes
and he just smiles
as if he’s looking at heaven
and he’s one of the seven,
Laughing Buddha.

©tlh   8/5/2010

For more Buddha inspired poems please visit my wonderful poet  friends,

Patti, and Jamie,

you’ll be very glad you did 🙂


August 1, 2010

“Sunday 160”

As I sat in quiet repose
poring over poetry and prose
an unfortunate gnat flew up my nose!
A nuisance for me
but worse for the gnat
tissue and blow
that’s that!

©tlh  8/1/2010

Sunday 160 @ monkeyman